There has been a lot of discussion about whether or not chivalry is dead, and I thought that I would weigh in on the topic, as this is something that I find rather fascinating.
Personally, I think that chivalry is alive and well, and perhaps more common today than it has ever been. However, I also believe that 9 times out of 10 the men who behave in a way that we think of as chivalrous in the classic sense, are unattractive to women, so they and their chivalrous behavior are completely overlooked and disregarded. These modern day chivalrous men are the guys often referred to as “nice guys” or “beta males” the type of guy who act “nice” because they are trying to “get” something from women because they are unable to attract women naturally, through just being themselves.
This behavior disgusts women, as explained in Jason Capital’s program Make Women Want You… The “ladies men” on the other hand realize that they don’t need to go overboard with chivalry, because women give them a great response either way. Today’s woman no longer sets chivalry as an expectation, and therefore has let men “off the hook” in that they are no longer required to behave in a chivalrous manner in order to win the affections of a lady. Sure, a gent who does well with the ladies may preform charming and chivalrous acts once in a while or even often, but while this behavior was once considered standard operating procedure it is now entirely optional.
Of course, there are still those women who demand to be treated in accordance with a traditional set of respectful behaviors, but in my experience these women are the exception to the rule. Indeed it is almost alarming to see just how little today’s young women are asking for from the men that they date. Why do the young ladies of today accept such boorish brutes? That is a question we may never fully know the answer to. Certain the MTV and breakdown of American family values plays a large role here, but I’ll stop myself before I launch into a full political rant on all of that.
Here’s the deal… a lot of women simply don’t know how to do something that every guy loves. Can you figure out what I am talking about here? Well, as I see it, the problem is that most guys don’t communicate to them what they want.
It’s often said that men are visual creatures and so they’re not so good at communicating what they want. It’s such a shame because if men just told women what they wanted, eventually, they could educate women on the art of how to pleasure them and probably bring peace and harmony in the world. I mean there is nothing more frustrating than when your wife or girlfriend is just really bad at doing that special thing for you in the sack.
I’ll share a personal anecdote to illustrate what I’m talking about… (In an upcoming post I’ll share another anecdote about how I used the Scrambler on an ex of mine!) One time, after pleasuring an ex-girlfriend of mine and giving her the best bedroom experience of her life (her words, not mine), she said she wanted to return the favor and of course I was happy to oblige.
But when she started doing what she thought I wanted her to do, I was actually horrified. Here’s what she did: She took me in her hands and then put me to her mouth. Then, with her tongue she lightly fluttered around like butterfly flapping it’s wings, and she kept on doing that, and that was it. Just a little tongue flutter, that seemed to go on and on. At first I thought she was joking, but then, to my horror, she was deadly serious. It was the worst, ever.
Anyway, I had to stop her. I couldn’t let this injustice stand. I figured, even if she got offended, at least I would be helping her in the long run, and saving the next man from an unpleasant experience in the future.
I patiently explained to her the following: A man wants to feel like the woman he is with knows what she is doing. That’s just a quirk of evolution. That means the girl needs to be trained somewhere along the way. It’s as simple as that. Instructing a woman on what to do in this area only takes a half hour or so and this sort of training will make her a pro in no time.
Relationships can be one of the most wonderful and rewarding parts of life, but they can also be one of the most challenging when we feel like our partner has all of the power in the relationship. Ideally relationships should be balanced, with neither partner have too much of an upper-hand, but as anyone experienced in love will tell you it is easy for the dynamics to shift suddenly, leaving one partner feeling powerless.
One of the most important things to remember is that there are really several different kinds of “power” that people have in a relationship and that these different types of power can balance each other out. For instance, in more traditional relationships where the man worked and the woman stayed home to raise the children and look after the house the man had more “financial power” whereas the woman had other powers such as perhaps the power of sexual attraction.
Nurturing power is a type of power that both men and woman can possess, although it is often more associated with women. Someone with a lot of nurturing power has the ability to make the other person feel very safe and very loved in the context of a relationship. This power can create very strong bonds and keep ones spouse or lover almost addicted to the emotions that this power creates.
Another type of power is what Dating expert Vin DiCarlo (creator of the Pandoras Box system) calls dominant sexual power. And though Vin is a dating expert who works almost exclusively with guys (I believe), this type of power can be wielded by both men and women alike, This is actually one of the rarer and most powerful powers and as with the power to nurture, people who have a great deal of dominant sexual power can become almost addictive because of their highly dynamic energy.
Really the best way to have more power in your relationships is to become a more powerful person, and stop worrying so much about how powerful your mate is in relation to you. Figure out what your greatest relationship power is, and then work on building it and making it just a little bit stronger every day.