Relationships can be one of the most wonderful and rewarding parts of life, but they can also be one of the most challenging when we feel like our partner has all of the power in the relationship. Ideally relationships should be balanced, with neither partner have too much of an upper-hand, but as anyone experienced in love will tell you it is easy for the dynamics to shift suddenly, leaving one partner feeling powerless.

One of the most important things to remember is that there are really several different kinds of “power” that people have in a relationship and that these different types of power can balance each other out. For instance, in more traditional relationships where the man worked and the woman stayed home to raise the children and look after the house the man had more “financial power” whereas the woman had other powers such as perhaps the power of sexual attraction.

Nurturing power is a type of power that both men and woman can possess, although it is often more associated with women. Someone with a lot of nurturing power has the ability to make the other person feel very safe and very loved in the context of a relationship. This power can create very strong bonds and keep ones spouse or lover almost addicted to the emotions that this power creates.

Another type of power is what Dating expert Vin DiCarlo (creator of the Pandoras Box system) calls dominant sexual power. And though Vin is a dating expert who works almost exclusively with guys (I believe), this type of power can be wielded by both men and women alike, This is actually one of the rarer and most powerful powers and as with the power to nurture, people who have a great deal of dominant sexual power can become almost addictive because of their highly dynamic energy.

Really the best way to have more power in your relationships is to become a more powerful person, and stop worrying so much about how powerful your mate is in relation to you. Figure out what your greatest relationship power is, and then work on building it and making it just a little bit stronger every day.